How to French Kiss Properly
You've seen it done in the movies and probably even in public — the French kiss, a timeless and passionate gesture of romantic affection. Whether you live in Paris, France or Paris, Texas, you can learn how to kiss like the French do without an embarrassing faux pas!
Part One: Basic Techniques
1
Keep your lips soft. A soft, smooth and slightly-moist mouth is ideal for kissing. Before you move in, try to make sure your lips aren't chapped and dry with these quick fixes:
- Use chapstick. Swipe some over your lips and press them together. (If you're a girl and you have flavored chapstick, all the better!)
- Drink water. Dry lips are a sign of dehydration, so throw back a tall glass of water (or two). You should notice your lips starting to smooth out within 20 to 30 minutes.
- Lick your lips. If you're really in a pinch and have no time to spare, quickly run your tongue over your lips and press them together. This should moisten them slightly without making them slobbery or slick.
- Bonus tip: Make your mouth taste extra appealing. Suck on a breath mint for a few minutes, or swish some water around your mouth and spit it out for a quick rinse. Whoever you kiss will appreciate it!
2
Move in. When the moment seems right, seize it and go in for the approach! In general, you should be moving slowly enough that the other person has time to say no, but not so slow that the moment loses its spark.
- When is the moment right? It depends on your individual situation, but here are a few signs to keep in mind:
- The other person keeps dropping hints, like locking eyes and looking at your lips, or standing progressively closer to you.
- You're ending a date that went really well. In the car or on the porch are both good semi-private locations for a kiss.
- It just seems right. If you overwhelmingly compelled to kiss someone, don't be afraid to ask if you're worried about doing it at the wrong moment — better to get permission semi-awkwardly and go ahead with confidence than to risk kissing someone who isn't interested.
- Make eye contact. Gaze deeply into the other person's eyes. If you want to make your intentions extra clear, slowly move your gaze to his or her lips, then back up to the eyes.
- Smile. If you're really excited about the prospect of kissing the other person, show it! A smile keeps the situation light and fun, while helping him or her feel safe and relaxed.
- Take it slow. Move in at a pace that gives the other person a chance to consent (or not). Don't worry about not going quickly — the slow approach builds tension and anticipation.
- Tilt your head slightly to one side. Meeting head-on will result in bumping noses. Instead, just tilt your head slightly to the left or right. If you notice the other person going in one direction, pick the opposite.
- Close your eyes. Just before you make contact, close your eyes. Kissing with your eyes open is generally associated with dishonesty and insincerity.
3
Keep your mouth in a kissable position. Don't present a stiff pucker, like you would if you went in to kiss your grandma — not only does it communicate non-romantic feelings, it makes it physically difficult for your partner to initiate a French kiss. On the other hand, keeping your mouth completely loose and still also says that you're not interested. Here's how to hit a happy medium:
- Pucker just a little. Push your lips forward slightly, so that you feel the slightest hint of muscle tension around them.
- Open your mouth slightly. Instead of aggressively going in for a fully open-mouthed kiss at first, keep your lips just barely parted enough that a tongue could slip between them.
4
Lightly brush your lips over the other person's. Use feather-light pressure at first, so that your lips are just barely grazing over your partner's. This builds more anticipation and excitement than diving straight into a full-on French kiss.
- Keep your movements slow. A lot of quick, light kisses don't have the same level of sexiness as a barely-restrained build in tension. Act like you have all the time in the world — the kiss will speed up soon enough.
5
Test the waters. Once you've built a solid foundation for a French kiss with some tongueless kissing, you can give the other person some subtle hints that you're ready to take it up a notch.
- Open your mouth more widely. Offering unrestricted access invites the other person to make the first tentative tongue contact.
- Lock lips, so that the other person's lower lip is between your two lips. Then, lightly sweep the tip of your tongue over the lower lip. Do one smooth, swift motion so that the contact lasts for less than a second. If he or she is interested, they'll reciprocate.
- Know when to pull back. If you've tried both of the above techniques and your partner hasn't responded, simply leave it alone until next time and focus on regular kissing. Avoid making a big deal of it, or guilting him or her.
6
Explore with your tongue. If the other person seems interested, go ahead and start French kissing for real. Remember to keep your tongue in motion and your touches light.
- Stay playful. "Tag" the other person's tongue lightly and retreat back, inviting him or her to make the next move.
- Tongues are loaded with nerve endings, and the mere act of touching your partner's tongue with your own will be very pleasant.
- Don't go too deep — jamming your tongue down the other person's throat is a big turn-off. Stay shallow and light at first.
7
Breathe. If you’re kissing for an extended period, it’s easy to forget to breathe. Believe it or not, gasping and turning blue isn't very romantic. Here's how to keep up:
- Take small breaths through your nose as you kiss.
- Don't be afraid to take a break. If you do it right, it can still be an intimate and sexy moment. Pull back slightly so that your foreheads are still touching, make eye contact, and smile.
- As you and your partner grow comfortable with the kiss, you can try breathing through your mouth a little: sharing breaths as well can be romantic (but not everybody likes it).
